Lighter Side

The Martian in Your Machine  |  I don't believe you did that

"The Martian in Your Machine"
     Alien encounters for users of Quark on the Mac.

We were all taken back by a screech from one of our Mac producers. A multicolored martian had just appeared in full space garb on her machine, complete with a ray gun, and was making its way across the screen. Making trudging sounds as it walked from left to right, the highlighted object was obliterated in a fury of color and sound. As suddenly as the space visitor appeared, it disappeared.

For a printing and graphic design firm that was up to date on the latest version of QuarkXPress, this was demeaning to say the least. None of us had ever seen this before. It was not in any of the documentation that came with Quark, or with the Mac we were using.

Upon experimentation, trial and error and retracing some steps, we discovered the secret: When an object is highlighted with the pointer tool in Quark, and the shift+option+command keys are depressed, pressing the delete key will flush out the alien onto the screen where it zaps the displayed object.

Even though this occurred several years ago, it is still true for versions 3 through 4.0 and above for the Mac. The martian may be found on the PC versions, but we have not discovered the correct key combinations, if they exist at all.

Apparently some programmer/engineer at Quark had some spare time on his/her hand, or was a little bored with his/her present assignment. So to spice up the program, to everybody's enjoyment, the extraterrestrial was concocted.

****************

"I don't believe you did that!"
     Sad but true stories from the PC-trenches.

PCs are gentle but powerful creatures, capable of great feats or revengeful bombs, in part, depending upon how we relate with and treat them.

One of the greatest instances of misuse occurred numerous years ago when a call came in to fix the cupholder on a certain make and model of PC.

That might seem all good and right except that model did not have a cupholder and none was added as a peripheral.

The person explained that the cupholder came out whenever they pressed the button at its side and that it had worked fine for a long while. But that it wasn't working any more.

Apparently, the person had never heard of a CD ROM.

********

In another instance, a floppy disk was not working properly. A call was made for service. The technician told the person to make a copy and to send it to the service center. Then they could more accurately tell what the problem was.

When the package arrived, it consisted of only a xeroxed picture of the disk. The service technician called back and told the person they would need an actual disk.

This was in the days of the 5.25" flexible floppies. The person did not have a larger envelope for the floppy. So they folded the floppy over and forced it into a normal envelope.

Consequently it took several more calls and/or packages back and forth to determine and fix the problem.